diff --git a/bin/doom b/bin/doom
index ba47677db..fdd47ea04 100755
--- a/bin/doom
+++ b/bin/doom
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
 :; export __DOOMGEOM="${__DOOMGEOM:-`tput cols 2>/dev/null`x`tput lines 2>/dev/null`}"
 :; export __DOOMGPIPE=${__DOOMGPIPE:-$__DOOMPIPE}
 :; export __DOOMPIPE=; [ -t 0 ] || __DOOMPIPE="${__DOOMPIPE}0"; [ -t 1 ] || __DOOMPIPE="${__DOOMPIPE}1"
-:; $emacs --load "$0" -- "$@" || exit=$?
+:; $emacs --eval "(setq warning-inhibit-types '((files missing-lexbind-cookie)))" --load "$0" -- "$@" || exit=$?
 :; [ "${exit:-0}" -eq 254 ] && { export TMPDIR="${TMPDIR:-${TMP:-${TEMP:-`$emacs -Q --eval '(princ temporary-file-directory)' 2>/dev/null`}}}"; sh "${TMPDIR}/doom.${__DOOMPID}.${__DOOMSTEP}.sh" "$0" "$@" && true; exit="$?"; }
 :; exit $exit
 
diff --git a/bin/doomscript b/bin/doomscript
index 9babc3030..0afd2e3d9 100755
--- a/bin/doomscript
+++ b/bin/doomscript
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ esac
 # directory from `load-path', which would prevent Doom from manually loading the
 # site files later. These are important on some systems or deployment methods
 # (like Snap or NixOS).
-emacs="$EMACS -q --no-site-file --batch"
+emacs="$EMACS -q --no-site-file --batch --eval \"(setq warning-inhibit-types '((files missing-lexbind-cookie)))\""
 
 # Doom respects $EMACSDIR to tell it where Doom lives. If it fails, then this is
 # either isn't bash, or it's a posix shell being directly sourced with sh, which
diff --git a/lisp/doom.el b/lisp/doom.el
index ca3c3b945..ec29cbe8a 100644
--- a/lisp/doom.el
+++ b/lisp/doom.el
@@ -665,6 +665,12 @@ to `doom-profile-cache-dir' instead, so it can be safely cleaned up as part of
 ;; still aliases them fine regardless.
 (setq warning-suppress-types '((defvaralias) (lexical-binding)))
 
+;; As some point in 31+, Emacs began spamming the user with warnings about
+;; missing `lexical-binding' cookies in elisp files that you are unlikely to
+;; have any direct control over (e.g. package files, data lisp files, and elisp
+;; shell scripts). This shuts it up.
+(setq warning-inhibit-types '((files missing-lexbind-cookie)))
+
 ;; Reduce debug output unless we've asked for it.
 (setq debug-on-error init-file-debug
       jka-compr-verbose init-file-debug)
@@ -880,12 +886,6 @@ appropriately against `noninteractive' or the `cli' context."
     ;; the session is complicated by user config and packages.
     (doom-run-hooks 'doom-before-init-hook)
 
-    ;; HACK: Later versions of Emacs 30 emit warnings about missing
-    ;;   lexical-bindings directives at the top of loaded files. This is a good
-    ;;   thing, but it inundates users with unactionable warnings (from old
-    ;;   packages or internal subdirs.el files), which aren't useful.
-    (cl-callf2 assq-delete-all 'lexical-binding delayed-warnings-list)
-
     ;; HACK: Ensure OS checks are as fast as possible (given their ubiquity).
     (setq features (cons :system (delq :system features)))